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4-22-01
E. Vail
A talk given at Foundry Gallery for "Memory Lane" show, Washington, D.C.
As you can see this show is very different from my past ones. I have used abstract work in the past but most of these images are realistic. When Hollis died in 1998 it triggered many changes in my life. I decided to move from a house to an apartment and more recently, I have decided to change my studio.
Hollis's death was not a choice but what I do with my life is a choice. To become single means to build a new self-image.
This show is very personal and a lot of it has to do with pain and the faith journey, this is Hollis and beside him is Pain. Someone suggested it might be a self-portrait. It hurts me to look at this image but pain does hurt.
The image over there is my brother, Buddy, on his Christmas tree farm near Poolesville, Md. He has lived there over 50 years and raised four girls there. He seemed like a fixture that would never change. He has recently married and moved to a retirement home in Baltimore with his new wife.
The middle image is called "Hidden Treasure" and beside it is Bessie, my mother with her 4-year-old granddaughter, Emily. My mother lived adjacent to the tree farm. It is my granddaughter, Kirsten, over there. She is bigger than life to represent all the new possibilities for her.
The next image is Cynthia, another daughter of mine. She and I are estranged and that is a burden to me.
Cynthia was painted 15 years ago and so was Daisy. Daisy was painted in 1983 the result of a weeklong retreat on the Blue Ridge in N.C. We sat in fields of flowers and made flower chains, made body casts and did rituals of birthing.
The daisy is my symbol of hope and courage. As a child, I played ball on an open field. We stepped on the daisies but their wiry stems always pushed their way back up.
Beside that is Washington Cathedral. I often go there to be fed by the beauty of the stained glass windows.
Choices: Two years ago, I decided to do family images for my next show. I chose a square format. It seemed like a no nonsense shape. My life has seemed as if I am being pushed from behind rather than called. I wanted to go back and reclaim some of my former life. This show combines symbols and realism. In "Buddy," I use white and the daisy to suggest two worlds coexisting. The painting next to it is completely abstract with some buried symbols. Kirsten's large in your face scale is a very different scale from the scale in Bessie.
I find that as I make choices I am changed. I had lived near the River since 1932. I swam in the canal and the river before there was a highway and planes. I now live in an apartment in the city of Silver Spring. I go into DC a lot and love the variety to it. My next show will be about D.C. and living near the juggler vein of life.
My studio was at New York Ave and N St., N.W. It was slum when I went in but it is becoming upscale because of its proximity to the Capitol. During 20 years in the studio, there have been births, weddings and suicides. It was a beautiful Cathedral like space. I will miss it. It is hard for me to see the good news in my new space in Takoma Park, which has no daylight, but it does have heat and air conditioning. This is a faith move. Who knows where I will be in 3 years.
I have talked a lot about pain in my life but there is also joy. The creative process feeds me. Religion is important to me as well because it is about sensing our createdness and the larger mystery of life.
In order to survive as an artist I participate in a weekly group of artists in our church. We experience the creative process in one another's lives. Often the creative process involves being depressed and feeling we have nothing to offer and then something seems to change and we take off again. Seeing this happen other people's lives helps me. The waiting part is hard and I fill it with going to art galleries, visiting places of beauty, going to the ballet and riding down Georgia Ave; puzzling over the world that I live in.
I like participating in an artist coop because I see the changes in other artist's work. It excites me when I see a leap of faith. The work may not be that good but then the following show is the result of that challenge and is stronger.
An artist needs to share the work in some way and that is why I have shows. You, my audience, are important in the creative process.