Eye Of Lama

I want to welcome you to this talk about the faith journey and the creative process. This show was curated by Lama, our director. I see lots of artists here, some family and friends.

After I have said some things about my journey I would like to have a general discussion on the creative process.

My last show two years ago featured a daisy painting. As I said then the daisy image has been important to me because of my experience as a child playing ball on a field with daisies. I and noticed they sprang back up after being stepped on. It seemed like an image of resiliency.

Since that time I have had my own trial by fire taking care of Hollis who had Parkinson's disease and lost his eyesight. I felt as if my life would never be my own again. But I also learned that I was given strength when I needed it. I found the love we had for each other seemed to nourish even in the darkest hours. Hollis died last October and I have been finding new ways to live my life. Part of this has been moving from a house to a 2 bedroom apartment. It is a creative process. I see it as trial and error. I see myself moving more than once. I am moving away from the river to Silver Spring. I have a new part of D.C. to learn about.

My last show grew out of my life as caregiver. The titles of the paintings were Jacobs Ladder, Walking on Water, Lazarus and the Daisy Alert image.

This show is a retrospective, as I could not create living under the pressure of Hollis's illness. This show reaches back to happier times.

The daisy painting over there was done in 1983 and grew out of woman's workshop in Blowing Rock, N.C. It was on the Blue Ridge with lovely vistas. We made body casts, did body painting, we did rituals with rocks and tunnels of grass. We could ask for whatever we wanted as a ritual. I wanted to sit in the field of wildflowers and make daisy chains The painting expresses the delight I felt in the experience.

When I start a painting I often have a feeling or an image of something that inspires me. Often nature is that source of inspiration. Our church has a retreat farm in Germantown and the Glimpses IV came from the corn field there. I had been in silence and tramped over the farm. I went out early in the morning and there was frost on the ground. There were footsteps in the frost. I wondered who had been there before me. This sense of another presence moved me.

Beneath the Surface also came from Dayspring. An early spring one. I paint in layers and often photograph the actual place to maintain a consistency of intent. As an abstract painter the beginning is the hardest. After I have painted a while the painting tells me what to do ... sometimes. Sometimes the painting is silent and I have to wait. I work on another painting.

This is part of the faith journey. Faith is sometimes seen as a warm fuzzy but that has not been my experience. For me it is living with angst with the knowledge it will change but still uncomfortable.

The painting over there is one of fear. It is called "Unemployed Youth." It was a time when my son was unemployed. I see my images growing out of my life. To be creative one must protect the time and space to make one's art. It seems selfish…it is. One has to love the creator. I feel we are given our gifts to nourish.

I first started to paint in 1955. I was very excited but also afraid. I did not know until much later what the fear was. I considered it as a hobby and did in my spare time. Later I learned my fear came from fact I was afraid I would give it up. I did give it up to go to work after my first husband died. I used to dream I was in a tunnel where I cold not stand up. It was not until 1974 that I realized this was call and took up painting as a major activity.

Hollis wanted to claim his creativity so we supported one another.

At the time there was a support system for women to encourage them to get out of the home into the world. The arts have long been important in the home but to take out of the home seemed like breaking some "rule." To stir it and stump and blow your own trumpet seemed to violate some good manners tenant. It was hustling. I had to act against the grain of my own self image.

When I first started to paint it seemed to access the deepest part of my psyche and I did not want to share the work. I felt too vulnerable. I soon learned that to complete the cycle of making art one has to share it. Here again I was dragged to a new place. To follow call is dangerous in that you are taken to places you don't want to be. You are called to learn new things.

Not only does one make the work and protect the creator but one has to have support of fellow artists. I have been very fortunate in that sense. I made a lot of artist friends in the Women's art center and I also belong to an artist group in my church. In the church group we pursue different disciplines but hold one another accountable for the faith journey. Seeing how God works in other people's lives gives me courage.

I would not be painting today if it weren't for my support system. This interweaving of my faith journey with my life seems very rich to me.

I was meeting with one of my support groups and the theme seemed to be "I want my work to come from my deepest self." These were artists who had found ways to get their work out but were still taking stock of their lives and questioning "where should I be and what should I be doing?" The answer which made the most sense to them was living in touch with their deepest selves.

As I flail around in this move process I know I can't ask that question of self now. I have to wait until things settle down.

I want to share another image. When I was a young teenager I had a green organdy party dress. I loved it. I never wore it. I could dream about some event when it would be appropriate but that occasion did not arise. I finally got rid of the dress but the image stays with me as a symbol of a potential. I feel I am at a place now where there are new possibilities if I am willing to be re-formed. It is in the breaking that the new is born. I don't know what form my art will take in the future. But I know it will be a productive time for me.

I would like to turn this into a group discussion of faith and creativity. The beauty of sharing is that we all experience similar things but see them differently.

[Seekers] [Write us] [Artist Mission Group]